


Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl (Boy) Can Have

by Literally_No_One_Cares



Series: Birdflash One-Shots [1]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Karaoke, M/M, Wally said so, basically the whole clone Roy thing never happened, everyone has to sing at least once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3922483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literally_No_One_Cares/pseuds/Literally_No_One_Cares
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team (and Roy for some reason??? Wally blamed Dick) go out to sing karaoke. Because that will TOTALLY be asterous (oh god, he's spending wayyyy to much time with his best friend). Yup.</p><p>(Alternatively, Wally gets Dick all riled up when he sings, and they talk in the bathroom.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl (Boy) Can Have

**Author's Note:**

> I needed this for some reason. Not actually sure why. I was listening to Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (my favorite Panic! At The Disco song) and I thought: Wally and Dick. Wally singing. To Dick. And I had to write it, or I was going to explode. I definitely wouldn't be traught.

When he had suggested it, Wally thought it would be fun. Robin had been telling him about some new businesses that had opened in Gotham, including a smoothie place he planned on checking out, a questionable package store (read: shady liquor store), and a karaoke club. The last one had caught his attention, because karaoke sounded awesome. He had begged and pleaded with the younger boy to _pretty-pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top-please-Rob-I'll-love-you-forever-if you-do-this-with-me_ go with him to the karaoke place, and Robin really couldn't say no to his best friend (Wally had used his best puppy dog eyes). Wally had been so excited he'd zipped all around Mount Justice talking a mile a millisecond about how excited he was. When M'gann had heard, she was excited too. Many of the TV shows she had watched featured episodes in which the main characters sang karaoke. Claiming it would help with her assimilation into earth culture, she had insisted on tagging along.

Robin and Kid Flash had both agreed to that; what could it hurt to bring her with them. Then she had suggested bringing Kon-El with them as well to help with his adjustment to human beings in general. Yeah, he was getting better at being around the team, but he was still standoff-ish. What could it hurt to bring Conner along?

But if Conner was going, Kaldur wanted to go too. This was a surface custom that seemed worth exploring. Of course, if the rest of team was going, Artemis was going too. How had Wally's idea to go out for some one on one time with his best friend (and that totally wasn't as gay as it sounded) turned into the whole team going out together?

That had been ok. That was just fine. The team could always use some quality time together. But somewhere along the line, Robin had invited Roy, and that just wasn't ok. Dick was Wally's best friend; why couldn't he see how much he didn't want Roy to come? Rob was _his_ best friend, not Roy's. He didn't hate Speedy (Red Arrow, he reminded himself)--maybe a little--it was just that when he was around it seemed like the Boy Wonder payed more attention to him than Wally, and he had made up his mind that there was only enough room for one redhead in Robin's life.

So that was how Wally had found himself in a suspiciously empty--that meant that daddy bats had rented the whole place, gotta love that Wayne money--Mike's Open Mic (ugh, cheesy name) surrounded by the team. Roy had gotten a seat next to Dick before he had been able to, so Wally had settled for sliding into other side of the booth they had chosen. Artemis sat next to him, and M'gann, Kaldur, and Conner occupied a table near the stage. Because the whole team was there, Wally had decided that everyone had to sing at least once. M'gann sang first, since she was so eager to find out about this earth cultural activity. Wally hadn't paid much attention to the girly pop song she'd chosen; he was to busy browsing through the songs to see which one he'd do.

There were only a few that really jumped out at him, and of those, one title had the gears in his head turning. If Robin couldn't see how he felt when Wally was subtle, he'd just have to take a more direct route. He nodded to himself as he decided which song he'd sing.

"Have you picked a song yet, Wally?" Dick asked innocently. _Oh Rob. If only you knew what song I picked_ , Kid Flash thought.

"I think I'm going to do this one Panic! At the Disco Song," he said as nonchalantly as he could, although Robin could probably tell that it was entirely chalant. Wally slid the song book across the table. "Here, you can look at the book."

Artemis went next, singing a Paramore song (what was it called? _That's What You Get_ , or something), then M'gann shoved Kon-El on the stage and he begrudgingly sang the song she had picked for him. Wally hadn't caught the name of it but it was vaguely familiar, something angry and My Chemical Romance-esque. Conner really seemed to hate singing, but if it got M'gann to look at him like that, he would sing anything--Wally totally shipped it.

The speedster took that as his chance to zip up to stage and grab the mic. He'd selected the song in seconds flat, and waited rather impatiently for the words to come up, fidgeting like crazy. Then the music started and he was suddenly still.

* * *

Robin watched in curiosity as Wally visibly calmed, then began swaying with the music. Oh no. Dick knew this song. God, no. He didn't think he'd be able to handle the redhead singing such vulgar words in front of everyone. He didn't miss the smirk sent his way when Wally drew in a breath and started to sing.

" _Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed, when the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your suit_ ," this was said with a dramatic wink. Why did Wally change the words?

"Woo, sing it, Baywatch!" Artemis cheered, clearly amused. Dick had no idea how she could find this funny; he was absolutely mortified.

" _Then I think of what you did, and how I hope to God he was worth it, when the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as your fingers touch his skin_.

_I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me._

_Boy I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of exchanging body heat in the passenger's seat_." Boy? Not Girl? Oh. _Oh_. He was pretty sure he got the message now.

" _No, no, no, you know it will always just be me. Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster!_

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls, will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?_

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls, will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?_ " How could he sing that with a straight face? Harlequin girls? Was Robin the only one that found that absolutely hilarious?  
  
" _So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus._

_In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off?_

_Let's pick up, pick up_  
  
_Oh now I do recall, we were just getting to the part where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick._

_I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention._

_Now let's not get selfish. Did you really think I’d let you kill this chorus?_ " As Wally sang the chorus again, Dick found his foot tapping under the table. The speedster really wasn't that bad (ok, Dick thought he was a great singer), and maybe his song choice hadn't been so embarrassing after all. It was just...barrassing.

* * *

As Wally returned to his seat, Artemis and Robin both clapped. Artemis seemed to cheer harder, but Dick was arguably more enthusiastic. If the slight flush and wide grin spread across his face said anything, he had definitely enjoyed the performance. Roy clapped too, yeah, but not the way those two did.

Artemis nudged Wally when he sat back down, an evil smile on her lips. She had figured out quite some time ago how much Wally cared for Robin (and he quotes "Of course you would like the one person on the planet that can afford a boyfriend with your eating habits"), and how jealous Speedy made him, and she knew just who that song was meant for. Wally shook his head in defeat; he was going to get teased for this for weeks, wasn't he? Oh well. Totally worth it.

"That was great, KF," Robin gushed, face still very red, although the sunglasses helped hide that a little.

"Yeah, Kid Idiot, I never knew you could sing," Artemis agreed. "So was that song meant for anyone in particular?"

Damn it, Artemis. "Maybe. I bet you'd like to know," Wally deflected smoothly. She made a gagging noise at his attempt to flirt, and Roy and Robin both laughed.

"Hey, can I talk to you alone for a second?" Dick asked. Wally couldn't see his eyes under his shade, but he could tell the Boy Wonder was a little uncomfortable.

"Here, I'll let you out," Roy said, sliding out of the booth to allow Robin to up. A mumbled thanks was said before Dick was pulling Kid Flash to the bathroom by his wrist.

When the bathroom door swung shut behind him, Wally's first instinct was to start talking as fast as possibl, but he held back so he could hear what Dick had to say. The acrobat was also silent for a moment, contemplating just what he wanted to say and choosing his words carefully. Just when he was going to speak, Wally cut him off.

"Is there something going on between you and Roy?" he asked. Straight to the point. "Because if there is, I want to know why you didn't say anything."

"Wally," Dick sighed.

"I mean, I'm totally cool with that. I have nothing against two dudes dating. I wouldn't be opposed to dating a guy myself."

Robin rolled his eyes. "Wally."

"But, like, best friends should talk about this type of stuff, you know? And I don't like that you didn't tell me. Who else would you talk about it to? I'm supposed to get details on how bad of a kisser he is or if you see a movie and he does 'the move,' you know?"

"Wall-y," Dick groaned, putting emphasis on the last syllable of Kid Flash's name.

"I you're not comfortable talking about stuff like that, I'll understand, but you have to actually tell me that. Communication is important."

"Wallace. Rudolph. West."

Wally blinked in surprise. "Did you just middle name me? Geez, you must be pissed. Was it something I said?"

"Will you let me talk for five seconds?" Wally nodded. "Roy asked me out a week ago. I said no. End of story. I'm into someone else."

"And you didn't tell me? Who is it? Is it a girl? You don't still like Zatanna, do you?" Dick glared at him over his sunglasses. "Oh, right, not talking. Sorry."

"No, Wally, it's not Zatanna, and it's not a girl. I thought you'd act weird if I told you, but you're acting weirder because I didn't tell you. I guess i have to now, after the performance you just gave..."

"Is it Conner? He's dating Megan, you know. Oh, Kaldur? You're both great leaders, I could see that working out."

"It's you, Wally," Dick mumbled. Wally was almost sure he heard him wrong, but when Robin tugged him forward by the collar of his button up, he realized that he really had said what he thought he did. He found himself staring into blue eyes, shades pushed up onto the top of Dick's head. He felt special every time he got to see Dick's eyes; no one else on the team got that privilege.

"You know I was singing to you, right?" he whispered, pressing his forehead into Robin's.

The acrobat nodded. "I figured. You _were_ kind of chalant about it," he chuckled.

"I had to be! Nonchalant wasn't working," Wally fired back defensively.

Then it happened. Dick kissed him. Richard Grayson kissed him. It wasn't much, just a gentle press of lips, but it was enough for Wally. As quickly as it had happened it was over, and he pulled back with a grin, eyes staying locked on Dick's.

"That happened," Wally sputtered. Dick laughed at him for a second before re-composing himself in an eerily Bat-like manner.

"Let's go, I haven't sang yet." This time, when Wally was led, it was by the hand, back to the table, where Dick pecked him on the cheek before taking the stage.

**Author's Note:**

> If you were wondering, Conner sang Famous Last Words (simply because I was listening to it while I wrote). I could only picture him singing something loud, and the song came on and I thought 'ok, this'll work.'


End file.
